


Crack-Fiction

by carrolimon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Multi, Thanks, don't take me seriously, this is a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 20:04:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18350762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrolimon/pseuds/carrolimon
Summary: What would YOU do if you woke up one day and realized you were now property of the Slytherins?





	Crack-Fiction

**Author's Note:**

> Created for Drachoes™ gc on twitter. Follow me @/seekerhearts
> 
> Warning: This fic will contain mild NSFW/smut scenarios but I will not go into detail.  
> This is a crack-fic, please don't take it seriously. It's written badly on purpose, I promise.
> 
> Thank you,  
> Caroline

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

 

The sound of drops of water hitting the concrete floor woke y/n up with a stir. Her eyes fluttered opened and it took her a moment to realize that the dark, cold room in which she lay was _not_ her usual setting in the Gryffindor dormitories. Her head snapped around the room, taking it in. The room seemed to be made of concrete, odd specimen floating in jars on shelves, the weird smell of an unfamiliar potion brewing in the corner of the room. ' _Where am I?'_ she thought as she finally propped herself up into a sitting position on her bed. Her sleepy haze soon disappeared and she thought ' _no really, where the hell am I?!'_ Panic coarse through her veins and she almost let out a shriek as she noticed a dark figure lurking in the shadow of the door way. 

"Who are you?! Wh-where the hell am I?!" she asked to the shadowed figure. The figure emerged from the shadow and y/n recognized him immediately. She gasps, "Pr-Professor Snape?"

"Good morning y/n," he says in a low voice with a hint of a smirk, "welcome to your new home."

Y/n blinked in disbelief, unsure of what the hell he meant by _new home._ "Wh-what do you me-."

Professor Snape cuts her off with a raise of his hand. "There's no time to answer you're, what I am sure would have been, _important questions._ " The corner of his mouth twists into a barely visible smirk. "You have to meet the rest of your owners." With that last statement, the greasy haired man threw over a set of Slytherin uniforms that hit y/n in the face. They oddly smelled of... hot dog water?

She grabbed the robes, "New owners?" y/n whispered to herself. She looked at the Slytherin robes that were now in her hands. "B-but Professor... I'm a Gryffindor!"

Snape's dark smirk grew on his face and he looked y/n straight in the eye when said, "not anymore."

 

*****

 

Y/n's hands were shaking feverishly as she was now being dragged by the collar of her shirt by Severus Snape. She tried to calm down, tried to slow her breathing but every time she went to take a breath the horrible stench of the man filled her mouth and she gagged. They both finally reached, what y/n would assume to be, the Slytherin common room. 

"Pureblood," Snape said in a slow, almost hiss. A passage now appeared in front of them and Snape dragged in y/n and pushed her hard so she landed on on her knees with a sharp pain. "  
Slytherins," Snape called to the populated common room. "Meet your new pet." Snape snickered and with that, he was walking out of the common room.

"W-wait, Professor!" y/n called out turning to to the common room entrance, but it was too late. Snivellus Snape was gone.

"Scared, pet?" spat out a too familiar voice. Y/n snapped her head around and was now looking up at a smirking Draco Malfoy who stood in front of her. Y/n knew him too well, even if she had never spoken to him before. She would always hear her friend, and long-time crush, Harry Potter obsessively complaining about him, like it was his job.

"I'm not the pet here," y/n spat back at him, now standing to meet his gaze. "I'm not the one who decided to play ferret my fourth year." The rest of the Slytherins 'ooooh'ed at her as she smirked and crossed her arms, proud of her comeback.

Malfoy's smirk fell from his face and his hand found itself around y/n's neck. "Not that it is any of your concern but that was not my _choice_. How dare you speak to me like that, learn your place." Malfoy pushed off her neck, causing her to fall to floor again, this time on her back. "Learn to respect your superiors," he said with a smirk and strode off leaving y/n there on the floor.

The common room soon emptied, since the scene between Malfoy and y/n had ended and y/n just stayed there. She stayed there, back on the floor, looking up at the dungeon ceiling. _'Why me? Why did this happen to me?'_ Once the common room was completely empty, y/n allowed the tears that have been threatening to escape her bright blue orbs to fall down her face. She wish more than anything to be back in Gryffindor tower, with her best friend Ronald Weasley and her crush Harry Potter. She lay on the floor crying until she fell asleep on the common room floor.

 

*****

 

The only time y/n was allowed to leave the dungeon was for class and mealtimes. Even then, whenever she left she had to be accompanied by another Slytherin, usually Malfoy's mindless servants Crabbe and Goyle. Often times y/n would spot Harry and Ron in the corridors between classes and they would start to walk over to her before Crabbe or Goyle aggresively yanked her away from them by her robes. Y/n spent most nights crying, wondering what she had done to deserve this. Why her? She didn't even understand her purpose in the Slytherin house. They said they were her _owners_  but the only thing they seemed to do was bombard her with their assignments. She felt as if this whole situation was unnecessary. She would gladly write papers for every Slytherin if it meant she could be back in her comfortable four-poster in her dormitory. 

Y/n was sitting at a desk in a far, isolated corner in the Slytherin common room working on everyone's assignments when she hears a piece of parchment dropped in front of her. She looks up to see Draco Malfoy looking down at her with the same smirk that's always tattooed on his face. She glares at him in pain, the bags under her crystal blue eyes weighing her face down, the light from the room burning her tired eyes. She had not realized it until now but she has barely gotten sleep in days because of all the assignments she had to do for everyone else.

"Tired, pet?" Malfoy asked with a bit of amusement. Y/n simply rolled her eyes and returned to writing Theodore Nott's Charms paper. Draco's gaze didn't leave her though. He put a single finger under her small chin, lifting her head up to meet his gaze. His face had gotten considerably closer to her's, if she would have moved ever so slightly forward, she knows the tips of their noses would touch. Her eyes widened and she took in a sharp breath. Draco looked into her widened blue orbs for a moment and then moved his lips right next to his ear. "Why don't you take a break? With me?" Y/n gulped and before she could even think, she was nodding her head. Malfoy let out a small chuckle, "good." He grabbed her wrist, probably a little too tight, and dragged her up to his dormitory. 

Malfoy commanded her onto the floor, on her knees and started to unzip his trousers. Y/n obeyed, gulping loudly as her bright blue orbs watched in amazement as Draco let his pants fall to his ankles and he kicked them aside. "Are you going to be good for me?" he growled. Y/n nodded and looked up at his face, eyes bright. "Good," he smirked and walked closer to her, hunger in his eyes.

 

*****

 

Ever since that night, Malfoy took a particular liking to y/n. He would always be the one to escort her to class and the Dinning Hall. He always said it was because he "had to do it" or that "he wasn't allowed to leave her alone" but y/n knew that the boy had taken a liking to her. She couldn't lie, as much as she hated to admit it to herself, Draco Malfoy _was_  very handsome. She didn't like to think of it much but the day after their intimate night, y/n could tell she was madly in love. Sometimes she thought that she was just dickpressed and that Malfoy just filled that void but no, she was in love with the Slyterin Stud™. 

One day, while Malfoy and y/n left Potions class together, they were stopped on their way out by none other than Harry Potter. Y/n's eyes and widened and she inhaled sharply, instinctively balling her fist on the sleeve of Draco's robe. 

"Y/n, where have you been? What are you doing hanging out with this ferret? Also why are you wearing those sickly green serpent robes? We miss you in the common room." Harry's green orbs were intently looking at y/n's own crystal blue's as he spoke.

Draco snickered, "maybe she got tired of your ugly Scar Head always up her arse, Pottah." Y/n's head snapped to Malfoy's smirked face. Her heart beat accelerated and she was sure everyone around them could hear it pounding against her chest.

"Piss off, Malfoy," Harry said rolling his mother's green eyes. He then grabbed y/n's wrist and pull her towards him. Y/n's heartbeat was racing so fast, she hadn't realize just how _badly_ she was missing Harry until his hand touched her skin.

Draco growled at this, grabbing y/n's other wrist and pulled her towards him. Draco and Harry were now staring at each other as they pulled y/n back and forth between the two of them. Y/n was breathing rapidly, eyes swirling from one boy to the other, looking at the scowls on both their faces. Finally, y/n was released from Harry's grip as Draco pulled with more force than both Harry and y/n had expected. Draco pulled on her wrist so hard he dislocated her arm!!!! lol jk but she did fall on the floor with a hard thud. All eyes were on her now as she struggled to get back up. Draco's gray orbs filled with horror "y/n.... I'm so sor-..."

"You arsehole!!" Harry yelled and lunged forward, tackling Draco to the ground. Y/n watched in horror as the two boys she loved fought each other. But they weren't _just_ fighting. They were fighting.... for her. ' _Oh my god, this is just like a fanfic!'_ she thought. Although this was like a somewhat dream, two guys she loved fighting for her, she snapped out of it as soon as she saw Harry about to punch Draco right on the nose.

"Stop!! Please sto-," y/n's yells were cut off when Professor Snape stormed back into his classroom.

"Potter, what exactly do you think you are doing?" said Snape's lazy voice, his eyes moving from Harry's face, to his raised fist as he was about to punch Malfoy. Harry quickly got off Draco and both boys stood, looking at the greasy haired man. "50 points from Gryffindor and I will seeing both of you tonight for detention. Understand?"

Harry looked as if he was going to protest but thought better to not. "Yes, Sir," both boys mumbled.

Snape raised an eyebrow at the two of them then swiftly turned around, back out of the classroom.

 

*****

 

Y/n had fallen asleep on the table she was working on that night in the Slytherin common room. She woke up suddenly, looking around at the empty common room. She rubbed her tired orbs and yawned. It must be at least 1AM by now, Draco's probably back from his detention with Snape. Y/n bit her bottom lip as she thought about going up to the dormitories to check on Draco. It _was_ late and although she felt some typa way bout him, she wasn't sure if he truly felt the same. But on the other hand, there was a possibility that he was still awake and the reason he got detention in the first place was sorta her fault. Y/n took a deep breath and decided to check up on him, if he was asleep she'd just leave.

She slowly climbed the steps up to his dormitory, thinking about every move she made. She finally made it to his door and cracked the door open slowly. At first all she saw was darkness. ' _Maybe he did fall asleep_ ,' she thought to herself. As she was about to close the door and go to bed she heard something. She thought it sounded like a moan but she could've just been imaginin-... there it was again! Y/n opened the door a bit wider, pulling out her wand and whispering "lumos." As soon as the light came out of her wand she inhaled sharply. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. She blinked and rubbed her eyes just to make sure she wasn't imagining it. When she opened her eyes again, there was no mistaking the sight. Draco Malfoy had someone bent over in front of him, fucking into them.

"Oh," she let out. She felt so embarrassed, to think she was the one the blonde boy loved. She felt like such an idiot to believe it. But there was the proof. The proof that she was nothing but an object to the Slytherin boy. "I-I'm sorry I didn't realize..." She stopped mid-sentence as the person he was fucking looked up. She was speechless when she realized that it was.... gasp!.... Harry Potter!!

Suddenly everything made sense. This was why Harry spoke of Draco so obsessively. This was why Draco always went out of his way to tease the Chosen One. They didn't hate each other, not really, they _loved_ each other. They just had a weird af way of showing it. Y/n didn't know what to do, so she just turned around and left the room with a silent, "nox," leaving her lips. Tears spilled down her reddened cheeks as she quickly ran down the steps that led to the common room. The two boys she loved soso much would never love her back, they'd just love each other. She heard footsteps rapidly following her down the steps as she went but she didn't pay attention to them. 

"Y/n! Y/n please!" called Draco behind her. He finally caught her right before she reached the bottom step, grabbing her by the arm. She stopped but didn't turn back. "Y/n listen, I know you're upset but please let me explain."

Y/n cleaned the waterfall from her face and turned to face Draco who was in an emerald green bath robe. 

Draco sighed, "listen, I'm sorry. I know you had feelings for me and him, we talked it out in detention and then we realized that we both had feelings for you and each other too."

Y/n's face went from being sad and angry to confused. "So what you're telling me is..."

"Why don't you come up? Join us, please," Draco said with a smile and an outstretched hand. Y/n grabbed Draco's hand and he led her back upstairs to his room where Harry sat on the bed waiting. They all smiled at each other. Both boys stood to either side of y/n peppering her in kisses as they undressed her. She loved both of these boys, these two boys loved each other, and they both also loved her. This was truly a dream come true.

Maybe being the Slytherin pet wasn't as bad as it seemed.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually so much fun to make lol and I wrote it at work so I basically got paid to write this PFFF


End file.
